I felt freedom today.
I still felt you there
But I ignored you for later.
I felt freedom today.
I found so many of you with them
And they smiled back
They conversed and
Conveyed
And when you swang on in
I looked up to swat you away.
I felt freedom today
And know tomorrow will
Have
No
Such
Luck.
I felt freedom today.
You’ll plague me tonight
But I damn well got today.
When the throat is straitened
and each weeze a corrosive churn.
My eyelashes become mallets
Pegging my sight down.
In ground.
Every raspy word lifts
Like steam in your cauldron
Boiling and reacting and
Unhurting
The only way we can to ourselves.
We’ll collect the remains
And archive the strains
But my mind will forget
As my body witholds.
And my brain will smile
At new seasons
And trends.
Forget the old, forget the current.
The future is definite so hold it
Precious.
Even though my breath can’t catch
Up. And I’ll still lie.
I’ll still lie.
I’ll still lie.
Frustration.
Pure unadulterated bloody effing frustration.
It’s like I take a step and 5 more doors slam on me, bolted shut and bounced by the bodyguard of bureaucracy.
We live, looking to the future, always thinking (even subconsciously) of the best. Hoping and being told over and over again that there is Always Hope. That when life hands you lemons you go and make some bloody lemonade.
But, what if your luck is so terrible that even those lemons you’re handed aren’t ripe? That the zesty sour citrus is actually achingly acidic?
I’m dousing this entry with pessimism I know.
I had intended to make a post about successfully living through the first three weeks of college with the juggling of work and travel, and all the happiness I feel in being able to take on Adcanced Maths (so so SO very happy by the way).
But word must come as my fingers fly over this well selected keyboard, and they do, a will of their own and I will conclude this post with these words.
Working for your dream, for the chances that should appear but never do, is damn fricking hard!
I suppose that’s why success is said to be so sweet.
BUT will success ever truly be satisfactory? Will not our mind seek to pursue more? Human nature being ungrateful as it is, never content with the walkway, the escalator, the elevator or even a bloody cherry picker. We want to reach that star and there will always be more stars beyond that.
I’m obviously in a very optimistic mood here.
I pray to my Lord that He keeps me content, that He makes me thankful with what I have and always be happy with even the little successes in life. Ameen.
bH's blog 