Honest to truth smiling Freedom

​I felt freedom today.

I still felt you there 

But I ignored you for later.
I felt freedom today.

I found so many of you with them

And they smiled back 

They conversed and 

Conveyed 

And when you swang on in

I looked up to swat you away.
I felt freedom today 

And know tomorrow will

Have

No

Such

Luck.
I felt freedom today.

You’ll plague me tonight 

But I damn well got today.

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Churning Cross


When the throat is straitened 

and each weeze a corrosive churn.

My eyelashes become mallets 

Pegging my sight down.

In ground.

Every raspy word lifts

Like steam in your cauldron 

Boiling and reacting and

Unhurting

The only way we can to ourselves.
We’ll collect the remains 

And archive the strains

But my mind will forget

As my body witholds.
And my brain will smile

At new seasons

And trends.

Forget the old, forget the current.

The future is definite so hold it 

Precious.

Even though my breath can’t catch

Up. And I’ll still lie.

I’ll still lie.

I’ll still lie.

Pushing Decades


Reaching the quarter.

The century references dig 

in its depth is death.

No lights and abundance 

of noise.

We reached a pair of decades and

rushed for more.

Hated you.

Hated the past you.

Hated the you of now.

And hate the you in death.

Nothing makes you an angel.

Mold and plasma till

memories give you heart and smile.
Depth of the grave.

Depth of your human self.

Goodbye worthless 

And captureless

And ageless

you. Goodbye.

Changing Wrongs

Hate how it’ll change for you and for you and even you too. I’d 

do it. 

Again and again and again.

but this is expandable 

this is tissue 

this is just. Only not just.

this is talking over the head

this is words gone missing

this is me.

And this me is tired 

or calendars that mess up

and groups that add up to

Spinning ideas and

lame humans

that pay too much for a human like face 

and socially accepted manners.

This me says delete the days and

bring back the halls 

of honest home.
~bH374
(On a brighter side note: The picture I’ve added to this post is from my trip to Chatsworth House yesterday. So very amazing.)

why try to push those Daisys

Words tapping away
days drawn in a sweep
markings made and
digits dismembered

agreements pushed
remember, hawks kneeyow and
sing as claws hold, hold.
Hold.
The release of age

promises but one checked out
some none and some so many.
A clear sky to the stain of sod
markings forgotten
illness overcome

caught in a new world, a world ignored
tested in depth
measurements and toil given and gotten.
Clutched so hard
forced to move upsidedown

trapped doors and archives for
murkier dissent, gems rare and
we but dwellers of dungeons
deep.
Praying for higher and fragrance and space

alone to answer and alone to see
blue eyes wait watching
cry, cry now
Waiting.
Hating.
Praying.
Waiting.
dead
Waiting. pain
Free.

may we never need the waiting room

-bH

Pain Before the ride and Still

On the bus again.
Nose running leaking making me drown,
Sides and back all clenched in pain.
Never cry aloud or shriek or howl

It’ll be over soon.
Each stop and start a language of shakes
No humming or soothing croon
Just clenching at each bash and bump it makes

Waiting for my final jerk
Though it be seconds before that’s gone too
For the roof and rules and runs of work
I’ll hang my time and avoid that loo.

These days are same.
Until I hurt in back and nose.
This lumpy, wet dizzying game
From where few have ever rose.

-bH

Thoughts and Dreams

Disturbingly strange, but very real-like, dream this morning.

Then again, I have been ODing on Harry Potter fanfiction again – which had ABSOLUTELY NO CONNECTION to the contents of this dream.

I only mention it because fanfics have a way of seeping into my everyday thoughts. And fanfics are just Awesomeness.

Hope you’re dream wasn’t as freakishly vivid or in-a-roundabout-way tempting (??)

Happy dreams x

What I see. What I thought. Just.