Tag Archives: happy

Honest to truth smiling Freedom

​I felt freedom today.

I still felt you there 

But I ignored you for later.
I felt freedom today.

I found so many of you with them

And they smiled back 

They conversed and 

Conveyed 

And when you swang on in

I looked up to swat you away.
I felt freedom today 

And know tomorrow will

Have

No

Such

Luck.
I felt freedom today.

You’ll plague me tonight 

But I damn well got today.

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Yes, My Plans Reject Me but I AM NOT YOU.

A idea, a pamphlet, a distraction

it becomes embedded my my nerves as well.

I plan. Plan so much; routes, times, lists, pictures, speech.

And when the day hits I go.

Mostly.

When I do what do I feel? Happy? Content?

Like I have finally achieved something?

Perhaps it’s just that I left comfort, done something. Found a Me.

Made a draft that I painted in full.

Because when it doesn’t happen I feel death.

I feel a heart crumpled, a vein blocked.

A mind melded to a lumped throat

Drawings of routes, times, lists, pictures and speech useless.

A waste.

Crying won’t help so don’t go about sad.

Plot. Plan more. Keep doing it again and again and again until I plan Perfection.

I plan Happiness.

I plan Contentment.

One day I will find Me.

and you? You can just watch. You can chat, misunderstand, hate or even be wiser than me.

But me? I will have done life.

I pray my Lord stays with me. Always.

Let’s Glide Through An Index

It’s that time of year where I purchase a new diary and categorise all the aspects of my life. I make complex tables of my routine and charts of interest. Then come those lists. The list I don’t believe will ever stop. I don’t think they can. The listing of everything; from key dates and numerical references to books I want to read, to the purchases I’ve just made and the meds I need to take.

And it makes me extremely happy. It keeps me calm. It helps me understand.

and upon you be Peace